Healthy Mom Life
Doable & Sustainable
Motherhood is complicated to describe. It's a mix of chaos & delight. A perfect storm composed of love and pain. A never-ending cycle of joy and stress. It's a lack of confidence and an unparallel force to love and protect. Motherhood has thousands of adjectives that can make anyone feel unprepared to tackle the mission, yet it brings out strong instincts that make becoming a mother second nature and irreversible.
Every single journey is different & unique, yet somehow, all mothers can relate to each other. It's easy for mothers to resonate with the struggles, the pain, the excitement & the joy of caring for kids - even though each mother has their own set of rules, expectations, experiences & beliefs of what a mother is or should be.
What is true of all mothers is that they often meet at a place, Sacrifice Town. The funny thing is that not all of them got there using identical directions. In this place of reasons & excuses, mothers go to forfeit their most price possessions/emotions for the kids. The town doesn't have a unique description, yet a vivid picture comes to mind. Freaky, right?
While this town is an honorable place for many, I dare question, is the residency here the right thing to do? While it's a fact that no tangible value can measure what kids mean to their mothers, do the kids deserve a mother that consistently sacrifices herself or her needs? Is it a fair trade-off for the kids? Give them everything they want/need if it's at the expense of the happiness & health of their mother? Would the kids be up for that? While the world may be under the perception that running on fumes is the default mom life or the only way to provide for the kids' desires & wants - I called BS. There are other options - and mothers DO HAVE A SAY ON IT.
In this Shift To Balance post, we discuss the option of living healthy motherhood. It advocates for a mom lifestyle that doesn't only look after the well-being of the kids but the optimum conditions of the one responsible for leading the show. It's about empowering mothers to take pride in nurturing their health, essence & dreams as a sign of unconditional love FOR their kids.
In advance, this post does not intend to bring judgment or shame to any mother - it just brings light to options and possibilities every single mom can & should have. Keep reading and humor this perspective or outlook of the mom's life.
What’s a Healthy Mom Life?
The Healthy Mom life is a lifestyle designed to nurture a mother's body, mindset & soul because she understands that it helps her care for her tribe better. It's making sure the family is taken care of while honoring mom's needs with the same importance.
Does that mean a perfect scheduled agenda that includes rigorous workouts, restrictive diets, and lots of wine or manicures? No. Does that mean that the kids can't have the nice things mothers want to provide? No. Does that mean a perfect 50/50 balance? NO!
It means that the mother includes her needs in the mix, and she doesn't forfeit the responsibility to take her of herself for the responsibility of giving her kids/family a 'perfect' life. It's about honoring the woman inside the mother as it best fits her circumstances. It's about doing the best and accepting it even if it doesn't feel like 100%.
How is that so? Because giving your kids/family the healthiest version of you is the best thing for them. It's the best example of self-love to help them be capable of experiencing genuine love. It's the best way to be present for them and not miss out on any part of your life together. It's the best way they get to know and love your most awesome version and build a complicity-based relationship. It's giving your best effort, so mom is around for a long time. Don't you as a mother want that? Don't they, your kids, need that?
If the answer is yes, below is your starting point.
A healthy mom's life is composed of 3 areas - boundaries, joy & flexibility. How does that work? Boundaries will protect you from putting yourself through irreversible fatigue and keep your body within healthy limits. Joy to recharge the body & soul. The body can't operate under sadness, stress, or pressure daily - no matter how pop culture spins it. Then flexibility allows you to bypass obstacles efficiently. Make it happen even with less ideal circumstances. When you have a handle on these 3 areas, the result is a tailor-made motherhood journey that advocates for a sustainable Healthy Mom Life.
Tailor-Made Motherhood.
Yes, you can tailor your motherhood journey to your needs, circumstances, and personal goals. You don't have to mimic or compare yourself to every mom in the world. No one formula works the same for all mothers. Most importantly, there's no one mold of a perfect mom - every kid has different needs, ergo every motherhood has a different set of rules. Here is your pass to take full advantage of that.
The problem with having a healthy mom life doesn't fall on lack of healthy ways to do things but on the ability to discern what's fitting to your circumstances. What's worth your effort and what, although healthy, may not impact your motherhood positively. Confuse?
There are hundreds of Mommy Workouts, but which one honors your time constraint, energy levels, or style preferences? Take it a step further, is rigorous exercising going to serve you best right now? You may need to build your energy before successfully committing to the workouts. While to other mothers, it may be effective to include workouts in the mix, for you is about pursuing stress management first. See it?
Here is where the 3 areas of a Healthy Mom Life come into play. Once you define boundaries, joy & flexibility, it makes it easier to identify which effort works best for you; or what modifications you need to make them efficient for your healthy mom life.
The 3 elements formula!
The tricky part is to define these areas in your terms. Not that you have creative license to define boundaries, joy, or flexibility, but you do have 100% control of how you implement those terms in your life.
Let's go one by one to give you an idea of how to implement their definition and help you design your healthy mom life foundation.
Boundaries
It's about designing your limits. Boundaries should use your preferences and circumstances as gatekeepers to prevent you from overwhelm. The most important part is not just creating the boundaries but honoring them. It's like customized rules of engagement that prevent you from running the body on fumes. Below are a few examples:
I need to get at least 4 nights of quality sleep. Anything that prevents that from happening gets bumped or void.
Playing with the kids is a must in my motherhood. The catered playtime to games you enjoy.
I won't engage in a restrictive diet, it's overwhelming for me.
Boundaries are guidelines to keep your motherhood honest and efficient to your goals. They may look different to every mom, don't worry if they don't make sense to others.
Joy
It's about having a reason to endure all the struggles. Joy is a source of strength and happiness. Don't feel guilty or self-conscious about making your life a joyful one. Be an advocate of happy moments and purposefully create space & energy for that in your life. Don't you want your kids to see you in that light?
For this, connect with your essence. Do things/activities that bring your core identity to a place of bliss and comfort. To some mothers, this includes the kids and to others is alone time. Both work as long as your joy bank gets loaded. Many mothers choose a mix of both. Whatever rocks your boat, but do it often! Weekly works best!
Below are a few examples:
Listening to your favorite music.
Eating by yourself without interruption.
A social gathering or having a hobby to practice weekly.
Flexibility
Perfection is the mom's enemy. Perfection is not only an unreasonable goal, but it's also unnecessary self-sabotage. It forces moms to be overwhelmed and feel frustrated no matter the results. Therefore a little flexibility goes a long way toward a healthy mom life.
Flexibility is no excuse to half-ass the efforts to do your best but a reasonable way of accepting the reality of life - things will be out of your control. The weather, others' responses, price on things, inventory, the mother-in-law, and other mothers, to name a few. If you address those circumstances with flexibility, they may change the way things get done, but won't jeopardize you from achieving your goal.
Below are a few examples:
You can't go to the gym, but a 20 minutes home workout is doable.
A restrictive diet does not work for you, but you can add the good stuff to your favorite meals.
MORE OF A TIP - Be flexible with expectations but never the GOAL!
These areas or definitions provided challenge the status quo or accepted social behavior. A mom putting her needs first can be a matter of debate. It's a fair response, but that doesn't mean it's right. So always know people will judge and harshly for that matter, but none of them are responsible for your well-being or your kids. Only you can make the call.
Motherhood is complicated to describe, but it is not consequently an unhealthy chapter for the woman behind the title of mother. As a woman who's responsible for the care of others, it should be your priority to take proper care of your body, mind, and soul. The kid's needs shouldn't be met at the expense of your health or well-being. If you want your kids to have a healthy and thriving life, teach them how to have one with your example of healthy mom life. Stressed & overwhelm are not the only way to show them you care for them no matter how much society pushes that narrative.
Shifts to embrace a Healthy Mom Life
Try these shifts considering your definitions of boundaries, joy, and flexibility!
Doesn't this seem doable? Doesn't this experience make you excited & capable of tackling motherhood? If you want to explore more on the topic or need guidance for your circumstances, reach out! Let's schedule a relaxed and valuable conversation between mothers that will help you bring perspective and health to your motherhood.
From my journey to yours
It's a never-ending editing job.
Motherhood is one of the reasons to get my health in check and at the same time, it was my excuse to postpone my efforts. By default, mom life it's tricky to navigate, but it's harder when the journey is not authentic to your preferences or circumstances. Building the bridge and compromising parenting style with your own health/life goals is the best option.
As my kid grows, I find myself constantly changing & adapting to meet both our needs. To some, the flexibility of my efforts/activities may seem inefficient, but to our family, it works. It's a balance fit for us that works without being overwhelming or unsustainable.
Indeed, I'm not going to know if it's correct; only time can tell. All I can do to measure its success is how we feel and how intense we love right now. It feels right and it changes at a pace my family and I can handle and will continue to do until and if the circumstances change. Because that its motherhood, constantly editing the way of life to care for the family's well-being, but never at expense of mom's wellbeing or sanity!
Until Next One!
Stay happy, stay healthy, Stay BALANCED,
